Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Waxman -- The Moustache of Justice Getting Trimmed

Mustache of Justice Mug
You cannot make this stuff up!

Really? A "Moustache of Justice" Mug? Justice and Henry Waxman go together like "Successful Surgery" and "Jack the Ripper."

I wonder if the ceramic makers of this mug have come up with another set of potable containers. .  .

How about the Solyndra Sack? This special sack will take in the food that you prepare, and then while you are carrying your lunch, you will discover that all of it has fallen out.

For a special extra fee, you can have the contrite yet trite phrase "I'm sorry!" written on the bottom of the bag.

Then again, how about a "Steroids Oversight Hearing" Pill Box? You say that such  a contraption would invite civil and legal penalties? Not to worry, because a little voice box while have the pre-recorded voice of Congressman Henry Waxman asking: "What's the legal age for steroid use?"

Ooh, I bet this item would make a real splash in specialty stores. . .

How about "National Debt" Wallets? To the untrained eyes, these novelty wallets are two pieces of paper with the words "IOU" scrawled in thick, black marker ink.

How about the "Waxman Journal." Mostly empty pages, certainly, like all new journals. Except the Waxman Journal is really big in the front, just like Waxman's current campaign, which focuses heavily on his early legislative accomplishments. Then as the journal writer get closer to the end of the journal, the pages get smaller and smaller, just as Congressman Waxman's accomplishments have been fewer and far between the longer he has stayed in office. Also, his more recent achievements fall within the schema of forgettable (???) to regrettable (ObamaCare, Waxman-Markey).

Oh, no wait, I think this product would fly off the shelves:

A retractable, interchangeable map-frame, one with lines that can change every time that Congressman Waxman's Congressional district changes. With this efficient little device, Waxman and his entrenched incumbent friends can save money on publishing new congressional directories. Then again, for over thirty years, Waxman never had to launch a real campaign to keep his seat, so providing  prospective voters with specifics about the change in political demographics is a moot point, anyway.

Congressman Waxman (C) Products could take the world be storm, indeed. That is, of course, if he manages to get reelected, which with such promotional items would seem less likely.

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